the MISadventures of Ashley and Red
by cryptidking
Summary: Ashley Hexe is a normal witch living in diamond city...well as normal as you can get with greedy boss a super smart friend and diamond city in general watch the so called daily life of the witch who wants her name said


Me:Hello people of fanfiction it's me the SELF PROCLAIMED ASSHOLE OF everywhere ehh I like ken Anderson...AN...DER...SON

Ashley:that's refreshing Devon now let's get to the goodies like my story

red:can I go

Ashley and me:NO

me:now I have to rework the entire dark fortune spiel I will get back to it when I find a beta tester and when I do now on to (hopefully) my first good story (reviews and/or criticism) ON WITH THE RIDICULOUSNESS

also **(author speak) **(_telepathy between Ashley and Penny) _and (_**thoughts)**_

(diamond city)

in a large city well I guess large in the world of Nintendo's poster boy now I'm getting off task in the large city called diamond city stands a mansion...a dark,gloomy, ominous mansion permission to piss myself **(permission denied narrator)** fine in this mansion that I'm scared of **(suck it up)** oh excuse me great and powerful author but I'm scared **(you know what's scary pyramid head when it's raping time and I have him on speed dial so don't make me)** oh dear god fine in this mansion we hear snoring better **(better)**.

(scene skip)

"zZzZzZzZzZzZz" a lump on a black bed was sleeping soundly well until her alarm went off "darn" the lump said as she slammed her hand on her alarm and woke up "have to change the alarm AGAIN". She pushed her blanket off of her and showed her face surrounded by her hair "new day more boredom" she deadpanned as she got off her bed and headed to her bathroom. However as she passed her calender she noticed the date and her eyes widened in excitement which is rare for her "score" she said as she now ran to the bathroom to comb out her hair and get dressed.

(scene skip)

Ashley enters a pitch black room and turns on the light showing a near bare room with only a small bed and a mirror in it "Red wake up" Ashley said as she looked at her self in the mirror. Her clothing was simple:a red dress covering all but her hands and her legs, a scarf tied with a skull broach and knee high boots.She looks at the reader "those shoes Nintendo made me wear are crap and if I wanted to I'd sue them...and yes I break the forth wall deal with it readers". She turns back to the mirror to put her long hair into two giant pigtails and put a orange hairband on her head completing her look. She looked at the bed and said "Red wake up you lame familiar you" when she heard snoring she walked to the bed... did a spell on herself then nudged the small lump on the. "all right Ashley I'm up" the lump said removing his covers showing a small red devil with a yellow bib "now why did you" he looked at Ashley to see her head off her body and on her hand. "HOLYMAIVALENTINESBOOBS" the small devil ran off the bed only to slam into the wall "oh relax Red" the small witch said putting her head back on her "i had to wake you up and plus Alexis Rhodes boobs were bigger" .

"Any reason we are talking about boob sizes". Ashley only shrugs as she walks over to Red and pulls him off "now can you guess what day is it" her mouth becomes a smile that creeps Red out "uhhh can I say that smile is creepy".

"don't care now today is...HALLOWEEN and I'm happy". Red's eye twitches at the notion of a happy Ashley in his eyes a happy Ashley is considered the same as Wario being considerate it just never happens "and your happy why?"

"Why because for a witch like me Halloween is like Christmas for us now get ready I have to get my costume and oh call Penny I need her help with my hair". She leaves the room skipping causing Red to facepalm at the bad obscurity of it.

(scene skip)

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK **"I'm coming I'm coming" Red screamed as he entered the foyer to open the door even though only one person visits Ashley in all of Diamond city. He opened the door to a young red head with a pink sweater and boots, black sweatpants, glasses and a heart clip on her head "hey Red" the girl said "hey Penny, Ashley is in her room now if you excuse me I have find some sugar"

"YOU TOUCH THAT SUGAR AND I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR ARMS AND LEGS ARE RIPPED VIOLENTLY APART BY SATAN'S PERSONAL HORSES!" Ashley yelled in a demonic voice from her room. Both wide eyed Red and Penny ran to the young witches room to see her in her bra and panties said garments were red and black. "hey Ashley" Penny said coming in "hey Penny now...what's up with Red". Penny turned around and saw that Red had a nosebleed "great" Ashley deadpanned "little pervert". She poofed a random book from her library and threw it at Red knocking him out "now that that's over with help with the dye" she held up a bottle of light blue hair dye to show her point.

(scene skip)

"come on Ashley how hard is it to put on a costume". Penny yelled "Penny don't put your sweater in a

bunch I'm done". Ashley came out with her dyed light blue hair her costume has black sleeves, full leg boots, a black skirt with the edges blue, a silver shirt with a silver tie, a tattoo on her left shoulder of 01, and a head microphone "i am Hatsune Miku" Ashley said then turned to the reader "yes I do fanservice call me at 666-1582". Penny looked at Ashley before "who" cue anime fall "i am Hatsune Miku vocaloid icon"

"what's vocaloid" Ashley anime falls again and glares at Penny "never mind now like it" Penny looked up and down at her "i like it have to do research but it's good"

"great". Ashley gushed "now onto".

"hold up" Penny interrupted "i have too tell you something AND get my costume so to my house".

(scene skip)

Ashley and Penny are leaving the mansion when "so what is it you want to talk about?" the witch asked "oh every year Wario hosts a pranking contest for his company and wants you to join"

"how come I never heard of this?" Ashley questioned "simple you never want to be bothered by anyone except for me anyway why don't you just make friends" "Penny do you see me being a friend to anyone" Ashley deadpanned. "no I don't just look" she hands Ashley a piece of paper "this is joke paper it records who you prank the first employee to prank everyone wins a prize".

"what's the prize anyway?"

"no one knows Wario always wins" Penny said sad at that " well you know what I plan on winning this thing and I will win for you, for me, for the workers of Warioware, AND FOR THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM" Ashley said as a American flag appeared in the background. "where did you get that flag?" Penny asked when she noticed the flag appear "i don't know" Ashley said and made the flag disappear with her wand.

(scene skip)

In Langley falls, Virginia Stan Smith stands outside the CIA building looking at the flagless flagpole "what the hell happened to the flag" he exclaimed before the flag reappeared and landed on Stan "AHHHHH" he started to run until he ran into the pole and was knocked unconscious.

(scene skip)

"now it works very simple every person you prank a check mark appears next to their picture" the young genius explained "ok" her witch companion said before noticing something on Penny's paper. "hey why does my name have a check next to it."

"uh-uh-uh no reason" Penny stammered quickly. Ashley's eyes turned red and her voiced became a chilling tone "IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME I WILL TAKE GREAT PLEASURE IN TAKING YOU TO THE TOWN SQUARE STRIPPING YOU NAKED TIEING YOU UP AND PROCEED TO ASSAULT YOUR PERKY ASS WITH A CAT-O-NINE TAILS UNTIL THEY BLEED!" Penny face was white with fright and promptly fainted.

(10 minutes later)

"...y...enny...Penny." Penny opened her eyes to see Ashley when she realized she was in her room. "what happened?" Penny asked with confusion.

"you fainted me and Mona carried you to your house she and your mom are talking in the living room"

"Mona?"

"she was coming home from working at her pizza store she helped me" Ashley had that blank stare look that she is known for her eyes never blinking just stared back at her "your constant staring Is creepy."

"yes I know" Ashley said in her infamous tone "now what did you do to 'prank me'."

"as long as you promise never to do that voice to me again" she stuck out her hand to emphasize her point "fine" Ashley said putting her hand into the young scientist hand "ok now I might have messed

with your dye." Ashley's eyes went wide as she ran to the wall mirror in the room checking her hair "what did you do?" the witch demanded

"i put a chemical in to make it permanent." Eyes wide Ashley checked her hair carefully and saw that her root were blue "i don't see what the big deal you should have put the dye in with magic. So why don't you?"

"uhh."

(flashback)

**(to avoid confusion imagine a camera showing the outside of the house and all you hear are the voices) **"Ashley I have to put this dye in your hair manually" Ashley's mother said "magic is much faster watch" a younger Ashley said "NONONONONONO." BOOM the house became covered in dye "ASHLEYYYYYYYYY" a furious said

"sorry"

(end flashback)

"no reason" she said nonchalant as she turned to Penny and stuck out her hand "come on let's go pranking". Penny shook her hand as she felt a shock "minor payback until I mess with your stuff" the witch said as she showed a joybuzzer in her hand "now get dressed I'll be in the living room pissing off Mona and your mom with my staring".

(scene skip)

Ashley was bored stiff of waiting for Penny and talking to Mona and ms Crygor is not helping "AHHH WHY IS SHE TAKING SO LONG" both women looked at the young girl in boredom "so anyway" Mona asked looking at Ashley with somewhat sadness "i was looking at Warioware inc and guess what Wario has holed himself up their again knowing he's going to play one big prank on everyone before Halloween is over" Mona was wearing her hair down with out her hat, black dance shoes, a black miniskirt and a black long sleeve shirt with an upside down cross on it, and on her lap is a black umbrella with yellow oval orbs on it and a harpoon like tip. Velma Crygor's outfit is that of a tube top showing her taut stomach, a long dark violet sash around her waist as well as a pair of long silver sashes on her arms, her pants look like they belong on a belly dancer, her forearms are holding a pair of blades that are as long as her whole arm, and her hair normally the Crygor family red is a dark pink and extremely long due to hair extensions. **(whoever guesses who they are gets a cameo in a future chapter)**

"i know my father told me that he also heard that he bought a security system to make sure no one can prank him". Ashley's ears were perked for any info to prank the fat man but was interrupted by Penny finally making a appearance wearing a black wig khaki's, a green shirt and a lab coat "THAT'S YOUR COSTUME IT TOOK YOU 15 MINUTES TO PUT THAT ON" Ashley screamed "no" Penny calmly said taking off her glasses showing green eyes "it took me 15 minutes to put in these colored contact lenses on come on don't you like my Jenny Wily costume" Ashley opens her mouth before saying "Jenny Wily belongs to the one and only AkumaTH and you" points at Penny "great costume"

"uh thanks now let's go" Penny said now happy "hold on one second" said walking up to the two "your not going anywhere in this city without supervision"

"Velma" Ashley started "i have been living in that gigantic mansion for 7 years"

"THEIR IS NO WAY YOU BEEN LIVING IN THAT PLACE ALL THIS TIME HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Velma said in instant mother mode.

"since I was 7" Ashley said solemnly remembering her family. "that is why Mona is coming with you" in the background said girl shaking her head while moving her hand in front of her throat".

"sure" Ashley said with an evil grin thinking **_so me and Penny can prank you._**

(scene skip)

**(for those who don't know the warioware workers here they are**

**Wario**

**Jimmy T**

**Mona**

**Dribble**

**Spitz**

**9-Volt**

**18-Volt**

**Orbulon**

**Kat**

**Ana**

**Ashley**

**Mike**

**Young Cricket**

**Penny**

**now you know SO GET READING I STILL HAVE PYRAMID HEAD ON SPEED DIAL)**

The two girls and their 'chaperone' leave Velma's house and are now walking aimlessly around Diamond city and the tension was thick "so we should go me and Penny" Ashley said breaking the tension.

"sure I need to get going and hopefully come up with some pranks I'm just worried" Mona said partially telling the truth while thinking about what Ashley said **_poor girl living all lone for almost her whole life I have to help her_** "under the condition we prank each other to get it out of the way". The two young girls looked at each other and nodded "deal"

"now then" Mona then threw pies at the two girls "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Penny screamed while Ashley simply wiped the cream of her face and tasted it "hmm pumpkin".

"well excuse me but I wanted to get you two over with now prank me". Ashley snapped her fingers "done". Penny and Mona looked around for what the witch did "nothing happened?" Mona asked

"trust me it's like you said simple is better now Penny your turn". Said girl shrugged, took the cream off her face and put it on Mona "there that was all I could come up with now let's go" with that Mona turns around showing a kick me sign as her and the two girls went there separate ways.

(scene skip)

The two decided to get Penny's grandfather and his karaoke robot Mike so they can also get some gear to help them or more Penny's case then Ashley's "ok so what do we do?" Penny asked "hmm I have an idea for mike but your grandfather is going to be a problem"

"no it's not" Penny points up in the sky. Ashley followed it to see a flying ship leaving the Crygor house "makes it easier let's go". The girls enter the house foyer to see mike Crygor's assistant and good friend plucking feathers of his body "looks like your grandad got him now watch this". With a flick of the wrist she casts a spell on Mike's jukebox "let's get your stuff". Both girls started walking to Penny's room when "stop" Mike said walking up to both of them his body still covered with feathers so none of his details are distinguishable "what are you two up to" "going to get some stuff to prank the fat man" Ashley said with a look saying 'try to stop us' "excellent that fat bastard needs to put down a few notches" Mike said slamming one hand on the other but causing it to become stuck "how about you play us a song to wish us luck" Ashley said hoping he'd take the bait "very well". Mike walked to the jukebox and turned it on however Ashley's spell kicked in and started a very annoying song

_oooh _

_we're no strangers to love _

_you know the rules well so do I _

_a full commitment's what i'm thinking of _

_you wouldn't get this from any other guy. _

Ashley and Penny were laughing there asses off at Mike's expression of pure disbelief "what the hell did I just get rickroll'd hey what are you doing". Penny was tinkering in Mike's back "just a dance and DONE". Mike started flapping his arms like a chicken "i do not condone this" he said "to bad now Ashley let's go". Both girls ran though the double doors near Mike to enter the main laboratory. The main laboratory was filled with everything from beakers to Tesla coils "ok let's go" both girls said.

(15 minutes later)

"got everything" Ashley said to which Penny nodded and both left the lab to see Mike STILL doing the chicken dance "should we fix him". Penny looked hopeful for a second "nah". Mike's eyes widened in fury "WHEN I FIND YOU I'LL KICK YOUR BLEEP". The girls laughed at the censor "IT'S NOT MY FAULT MY CREATOR PUT A CENSOR SWITCH ON ME" the girls started to walk out "I'LL GETTING MY REVENGE ON" yea that's what you get when the door cuts you off but anyway "who do we go after first?"

"well your grandfather is who knows where, Wario will be holed up...Jimmy?"

"Jimmy".

(scene skip)

Ashley and Penny found their way to club sugar unfortunately so have two best gamer friends. 9 and 18-volts costume were meant to match white ki's with black belts and white masks "let's do this" the younger looking 9-volt said "word" said the deceivingly big 18-volt **(hey you have a guy bigger then wario in kindergarten it's weird) **"correct FOR WE ARE KARATE DUO NUMBER ONE"

"NUMBAH ONE" said a random zeus guy appearing out of nowhere "oh i'm sorry wrong story" he throws a smoke bomb that makes him vanish into thin air. "How do we prank them?" Penny asked

"i'm looking" Ashley said as she spotted 18-Volts boombox "bingo". She put her wand behind her and casually walked out of the bush. "Ashley what are you doing" Penny said panicked "watch this will be good". Ashley continued on and hid in a closer bush and put a spell on 18-volts boombox. "you know that boombox of yours will be nothing but trouble" said 9-volt "it's like Konami putting sub weapons in super castlevania IV why bother"

"i'll tell you why it's like you always bring your scooter I never leave home without it" he hoists up said item "at least my item is black not orange". The nintendo nerd's eye twitches at the scandalous response "HEY ORANGE IS A MANS COLOR" he screamed as he picked up the boombox and threw it at his friends...only to explode halfway and cover 18-volt in cassette tape. "_**that's the prank pretty lame**_" Penny thought as she kept seeing the friends fight.

"this ain't mine wait" the older volts eyes widen "HOLY S" 18 faints before finishing and the tapes poofing away with Ashley sneaking back to Penny "uhh what was on those poleroids?"

"oh just embarrassing pictures of 18 as a baby" at that Penny did laugh a fake boombox was one thing embarrassing pictures were another "aww man got to get you home let's go" he put 18 on his scooter and drove away grumbling "my scooters is lame shows what you know". Ashley, Red and Penny nodded to each other and ran into club sugar.

(scene skip)

Jimmy T was inside his small home connected to his club now being Diamond city's resident party dude he needed to be there ready to boogy 24/7 365 but he always closes his club on Halloween unless it's a special occasion so he can prepare for a night of pranking. Now Jimmy was no idiot he knew Wario would find someway to prank everyone a couple of minutes before midnight so he can claim the prize whatever said prize is and learned two things one:never underestimate Wario even if he hides in his office and two and more importantly ALWAYS come prepared that's why this Halloween he called his family in to help survey warioware and look for weaknesses traps anything that can give Jimmy an advantage for when he storms the place in a few minutes. He also knew 9-volt and his friend were hiding out but shrugged it off when 18 was pranked he knew someone was nearby to prank him but he won't go so easily hell other then him, Wario, Mona and Crygor everyone was easy pickings yes he hated pranking the poor loner Ashley last year with the envelope but he needed to win and top the fat man off his high horse and this was his year shame Ashley was not competing he could see her taking Wario down a few notches...and a few pounds. Jimmy took off his wig and put a mask over his face he knew he was never the quiet type but someone needed to step up to win and put his whip cream (created by Crygor himself) and marched to the main area in his club the floor but before that he went to his mirror and did a mental check list. Instead of his white pants and red shirt he dressed in all black even his shoes were black and even if he hated it he shaved off his mustache he knew it'd grow back and he was sad to part with it but he every advantage he get and despite Wario and his overall laziness and greed he had one heck of an eye. He went to his door and grabbed his walkie-talkie and entered the dance floor. "Mona you hear me" Jimmy said talking into the walkie "i'm here" the workaholic said from across the city at her house "getting ready Jimmy what about you?"

"about to leave the club and pick you up" like most of the workers Jimmy and Mona teamed up with the sole purpose of trying to spend time with each other and both agreed to take down Wario "ok be careful Penny and Ashley are in it and from what I seen they might win". Jimmy paused in front of the front door and looked outside "that explains the prank on 18 ok Mona i'll be there over and out" now hesitant Jimmy carefully opened the door and headed to his car. Penny and Ashley look ahead at Jimmy walking to his green Donda Frius "crud we can't let him get away let's go" as Penny and Ashley chase after him Red is solemn following "why can't I go and sleep" Ashley answer was her eyes glowing red that shut Red up. As Jimmy walked to his car he quickly looked around, he already knew the two young girls were around where he did not know but he was cautious Penny unlike her father was always predictable but Ashley was a pure wildcard in this considering it's her and young cricket's (who's busy training to care) first year even more so that Ashley is a witch sways the favor to her advantage so he knows if he faces them to save his strength and get out of dodge. "i know your out there my cameras saw you" Jimmy said hoping to bluff them out of hiding but neither was falling for it. Still cautious Jimmy made his way into his car checked around his seat and sat. starting his car he looked in his rear view mirror and saw the two girls he was looking for with Ashley pointing her at him "bye bye" was all the witch said as she put a spell on his car that made it start bucking "whoa there car" it was all in vein as the car sent him flying into a bush. Ashley and Penny had a good laugh as Red now not as a wand helped Jimmy out of the bush "thanks little man" Red just rubbed his hand behind his head as Jimmy walked up to the girls "i have to say THAT was a prank never saw that coming ya know I have feeling you might win this IF you can get Wario" he pointed his thumb behind him to show the Warioware building "thanks" Penny said.

"man me and Mona were working on it right now but you have"

"wait Mona you and her were working together"

"yup hence why she had to leave you two as fast as the charleston now that you got me and her might as well help you out". He reached into the car and pulled out another walkie-talkie. "i'll get Mona and us and my family will scout the building while you get the rest of the workers ya dig" both girls nodded as Penny grabbed the walkie and Jimmy entered his car and started it up "when you want to be picked up just give me a call oh right let's boogie" he drove off. "so who's next?" Penny asks

"i have an Idea to get two kindergartners with one stone Red get Phyills and bring her to the feng shui tower"

"uhh sure" Red said not wondering why Ashley wanted her pet project to the ninja's sisters house and insistently remembered Ashley when her eyes and her voice and oh the pain "ok" Red said running back to her house. "let's go" Ashley said grabbing Penny and heading to Kat and Ana's home.

(scene skip)

At the tower garden two young girls were planting flowers both wearing ninja garments but one has pink hair ending in one ponytail the other has red hair with two ponytails "so Kat how are the petunia's doing" Ana said

"fine fine" Kat answered "hey Ana come here and look at this". The older of the sisters went to Ana and saw a red plant with white spots "it's a piranha plant we need to get our swords out" Ana nods as they both pull their swords out and hit the plant with a soft thud. "uh is that supposed to happen" Kat said touching her sword "HEY MY SWORD IS MADE OF STYROFORM". Ana touched her sword "HEY MINE TWO who did this" a roar is heard as both girls turned to see the piranha plant grow to uncontrollable sizes. Both girls did the only thing that came to them "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" the girls screamed as the plant picked them up then "gotcha" the plant said who's voice now turned into a certain's witch "ASHLEY" both birls screamed as the plant turned small again with Red walking behind "WHERE IS SHE" the ninja twins said together "somewhere so she sent me to get Phyllis so she won't suffer your wrath and don't worry your swords are in your room". Red put Phyllis into a plant pot and ran before getting beat up. Across the street Ashley and Penny were laughing hysterically "that was funny"Penny said not seeming to stop "i know now...do you hear something". Penny stopped to hear a sizzling sound and saw a rocket strapped to her back "uhh Ashley"

"yeassssssss" Ashley said before seeing the rocket on Penny's back "you have a rocket on your back" both girls said when Penny saw a picture on the rocket showing a cat and dog wearing mechanics uniforms and boy was Penny pissed "DRIBBLE SPITZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" said Penny before sent flying to one end of diamond city as well as Ashley to the other side with a dog and cat in a cab watching with binoculars and laughing their asses off.

AND THAT IS THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIRST 'EPISODE' NOW I HAVE QUESTIONS PLEASE REVIEW LOL NOW I WILL PUTTING MORE CHARACTERS REVIEW IF YOU THINK I SHOULD INCLUDE THEM (HOW I WRITE THEM NOT JUST THEM) INTO THE MAIN CAST AND THE FANFIC CRITIC PLEASE BE FAIR


End file.
